A bit of a different kind of blog from me this week. Not really photography related, but I wanted to share where my heart was as a business owner here in Aberdeen.

Like me, I’m sure you have been affected by the events across the world regarding racism and the black lives matter movement. I've learned a lot during these uncertain times and I'm grateful for that.

Before we all go back into our busy days and over-booked weeks, I'd like to share with you how I’ve used this time to think, listen, learn, support, promote and make new friendships along the way. Often we are afraid to really think, because it brings change, creates doubts and responsibility.

I grew up in a loving family. We travelled a lot, and met hundreds of people as my grandparents were pastors, and my mum sang in church. We had missionary friends come from Nigeria and we played happily with their children. We were taught not to see colour.

I’ve often heard the phrase “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple or blue - I love you just the same.” I think it was a case of if we didn’t talk about racism, it would just go away. And now I realise that this was wrong.

Not talking about it hasn’t made it go away, but instead has led to ‘white fragility’ on my part. I realise that I am ill-equipped to deal conversations around racism and that the desire to be seen as good has prevented me from doing good.

I’ve learned a lot (and I’ll keep learning) over the last few weeks from many anti-racist educators including Rachel Elizabeth Cargle, Vanessa Kanbi and through the writings of Layla F Saad. I’m currently studying her book “Me and White Supremecy” - a scary title, which she acknowledges herself, but please don’t let that put you off ordering and reading it!! So much of what she says has resonated with me.

Any conversations I had around racism as I was growing up would have been pretty binary. “Racists = bad people” rather than an acknowledgement of white privilege, colonisation and systemic racism. I never really considered racist systems, stereotypes, tone policing and the many other subtle acts of minimalisation as I felt it really didn’t have anything to do with me.

I wasn’t racist and I lived in a community where there were very few people of colour, so I didn’t think I had to learn about it. I was wrong. As Layla F Saad points out in her book, once you see it, you can’t unsee it, and I’ve seen many things about my own white privilege that I had not considered before.

This is a journey I am on and I’d love to hear how you are learning too.

And now for a story about colour and my very own Scottish family

My grandparents had five children. Their first son died at three days old and then my mother was born, making her the eldest. Subsequently, another brother was born and then my grandparents decided they wanted to adopt. Finally, a youngest daughter was born.

My Uncle Neil was part of my family for just under 10 years before I was born as the first grandchild in the family, so there really isn’t all that much difference in our ages. I’ve never once thought anything about how it must have been for Neil to grow up as the only black person in our family, and I am ashamed to admit that I never thought to ask. But I’ve asked now, and here’s what he had to say.

My Uncle, Neil Cameron

Newly adopted

As a 11 month old child, I was not old enough to realize the impact that adoption was going to have on my life. Not only were my adoptive parents white but I also gained an older sister, brother and later a blonde blue-eyed sister was born and completed the family unit.

Growing up in the small town of Peterhead here in the North East of Scotland, it was very evident that I was different. I stood out. I was “The Golden Boy” yet I never felt my colour was a barrier to achieving my dreams and finding fulfillment in life.

Sure, I experienced name calling, jokes about my colour yet generally I was accepted and treated like all the other children within our community.

It was into my teenage years that I became more aware of subtle prejudice and underlying racism. Let me be clear that this was limited in my community but very evident as I travelled to other parts of the UK and especially when I spent time in the USA as part of my brothers singing group.

In my home town I was known as “Neilly” loved and cherished, living life to the full, yet outside of our community I was this young black kid with a Scottish accent.

If I travelled with my family there was almost immediate “Acceptance through Association” yet on my own, I became more aware of my colour through the attitude and behaviour of some people we came into contact with. I was often ignored and avoided until someone realized my last name or heard my accent. I was accepted as part of the team but clearly the door would have been closed if I was on my own.

I remember traveling many times across Europe as we brought humanitarian aid and help to the nation of Romania. At passport control officials always took twice as long looking and checking mine as they did with the others. I often felt their suspicion, disdain and sometimes outright contempt, yet I refused to allow their superior attitude make me feel belittled, marginalized or a subordinate.

Neil Cameron, Senior Pastor at Apex Church, Peterhead

I still live in Peterhead, I’m the father of two grown sons, Pastor a thriving local church and feel the respect and appreciation of our community. I’ve seen dreams realized, faced success and failures, good times and bad.

I’m also very aware that there are many people in my world who through their silence and lack of interaction with those of differing backgrounds, ethnicity and race have been looking through the lens of prejudice although very nuanced and subtle. And yet research shows that positive interactions between different racial groups produces tolerance, acceptance and understanding.

It’s almost 57 years since Dr. Martin Luther King declared in his great speech, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Maybe we can’t change “The World” but I truly believe that we can change “Our World” by making a choice to listen, learn and love!

Neil

https://apexchurch.org.uk/