As some of you may know, our office manager Carla is the face behind The Honest Mummy over on Instagram. She’s been sharing her parenting ups & downs for over two years now and I asked her to share her journey…
As I look back over my five years into motherhood so far, there’s one thing that comes out on top when it comes to what I’ve learned.
And it’s what I’ve learned about myself, the person I’ve become and how different she is to the person I used to be.
It’s very true what they say, nothing quite sets you up for being a mum. You really should keep all opinions on motherhood tucked away at the back of your mind until you’ve 'worn the t shirt' yourself... How I wish someone told me that in my younger years!
But this journey has changed me, for good, and more specifically, in ways I never thought it would.
Our first daughter was born in 2017 after we fell pregnant on honeymoon. It happened a lot quicker than we had expected and after a relatively smooth pregnancy and birth, we welcomed our first girl Luna.
It was in 2020 however, when everything changed for me. We were stuck in lockdown, and I lost count of how many times I had aimlessly wandered around the golf course across the road with my then three year old, to pass some more time of our very long days together.
I felt like I was doing the same thing day in, day out. I truly wondered how all the other parents on social media were making it look so much easier, more fun and of course a lot more tidier than how I was living lockdown life.
The little bubble of motherhood for me had been burst, and the people around me were starting to receive a grumpier, less patient version of me.
I knew I had to do something to get me out of this funk I was in so I began to read. I also listened to podcasts and I spent a bit of time trying to understand how the mind works, how we can perceive things so differently from what they truly are and how we can be so strongly influenced by the external factors around us.
I began to see that the dissatisfaction with my life was coming from within AND what I was surrounding myself with.
My social media pages were full of perfect, and I was far from it. We had good days of course, but it seemed to me like everybody else was only having good days. Where were the tantrums, the piles of washing and the play doh mess?
Within five minutes of opening social media on my phone, I felt completely overwhelmed. What should have felt like a five-minute escape from life at home with a toddler, soon felt like a slap across the face from the perfect parenting world online.
Over time, I learned that if I removed these external influences and reframed my mindset, I would see that I was doing a pretty good job of being a mum. When I used various tools to break them down, I saw that most of the feelings I had were in fact not reflected in truth at all.
I also realised that whilst I was taking care of my family, I was forgetting about myself, and I soon developed a love for self-care.
And then I had a lightbulb moment…….!
What if I could help other mum’s feel like they’re not alone on this parenting rollercoaster? What if I could help just one Mum feel like she was worthy of taking care of herself? What if I could help us all ‘feel' a little more perfect?
Within a week, I created my Instagram page, The Honest Mummy. I went live to my hundred followers at the time to tell them I planned to share my motherhood journey through my eyes.
No frills, no fuss. Just me.
Then I became pregnant with my second girl, Blu, and shared that journey too. I’ve also shared milk intolerance stories, relationship struggles and how it was to live with post-natal depression too, after my husband was diagnosed with it shortly after Luna was born.
And last year, I wanted to learn more and help more and make it my mission to help mums feel empowered, worthy and to support each other.
I completed my mindfulness life coaching certification in February 2023 and I’m almost at the end of my Mental Wellbeing practitioner course.
Back in October 2022, I hosted the first, Honest Mummy Club. This is where mums get together ‘virtually’ for two weeks of the month taking part in various self-care tasks and listen to me chat daily on stories about mindfulness. I share tips and tools on how to reframe your mind, how to be present and how to be more of the mum you wish you could be.
More patient.
More calm.
More present.
I’ve worked with over 200 mums so far, and I’ve loved every minute. Have you heard the phrase pouring from an empty cup? I want to help all mums, fill up that cup again.
And remember, there are days where we won’t get it right, but what we can do, is be kinder to ourselves and just enjoy these moments of mess, madness and mucky fingerprints.
I’m in the early days of this journey but it’s already connected me to so many wonderful mums and I can’t wait to see what else is to come.
You can follow me here, or find out more about The Honest Mummy club here.